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Letting It All Out

by Zachary Parker Stevens

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1.
Hallelujah (cover) (free) 05:05
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2.
Not A Rockstar 03:56
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In Pelton's English class we learned While reading Malcolm Gladwell's book, titled Outliers My life is ruined by my birth But I take a college class where they tell me it's all good I'm the youngest child of 18 years I've watched my older siblings marry have their children But it's not my standard I never do things out of fear I may have learned to be a failure but I know it's no career Hey now, I'm not a rock star I don't see anything resembling what I dream and do it for Hey now, I'm not a nuance I may be similar to human but I don't intend to do it anymore In the North Country Christian Church My father leads the age old hymns for the congregation I know it's stagnant in the stream But despite the facts they show I feel his presence all the same I'm here to save and love the lost And if I don't evangelize to the masses I'm a normal Christian I know we all have lost our way So it's safe to realize that we need Jesus everyday Hey now, I'm not a rock star I don't see anything resembling what I dream and do it for Hey now, I'm not a nuance I may be similar to human but I don't intend to do it anymore Hey, so wait am I living some lie Walking down streets in the average style Praying to change how I think in my mind While I try to figure out what is really worth while Find my tire in the televised guile Crowned a foolish slave that is bound to this dial Wake in shame all of yesterday's trials I've gone to serve the justice to the prideful and the wild Hey now, I'm not a rock star I don't see anything resembling what I dream and do it for Hey now, I'm not a nuance I may be similar to human but I don't intend to do it anymore
3.
Buying Into Grace 04:49
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Undo the mistakes, undo the flaws The life was the kisses, I can't buy this system anymore Mimic an interest, smile with a heart I've come a to a dead end, where is all this hype I had before? I can't sell out to you, and it hurts like hell This won't work out that I am sure of, or at least I'm sure now Times when it pinches, times when I claw Trapped in this mission, it's never been so helpless or so hard Times when it makes sense, I know that I'm called So why in this instance, I feel like I've been left out in the cold I can't sell out to you, and it hurts like hell This won't work out that I am sure of, or at least I'm sure now I've got nothing to lean on for the first time, in a long while Time comes alone, and reminds me Of who I used to be, when I was on my own Miles marked in stone, you can find me Desperate like the rest, even though I should have known I cry like it's over, I cry like it's through The sun brings the morning, and it's never been, been so overdue I can't sell out to you, and it hurts like hell This won't work out that I am sure of, or at least I'm sure now I want you, I need you, come be my friend Yes I want to be near you, so come meet me again
4.
One Step Behind 04:38
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I don't got the time, but I don't got a reason Guess I'll douse the flame, cause I guess it's not our season I know I can't complain, I knew it was uneven This walk is like the rain, my feelings like a fever Good grief sister, I know I'll get by There's just a lot on my mind, since I came down with this tire All my brothers are far down this line, I'm always one step behind So I'll get back to this grind I'm not deaf or blind, I know that it's no secret That love is bound to fly, when you try to keep it I must be stuck in the rhythm of the past In the past there's a little bit of love that I never got back Like the cold hard cul-de-sac cash Dropping twenties in between the metal gap Good grief sister, I know I'll get by There's just a lot on my mind, since I came down with this tire All my brothers are far down this line, I'm always one step behind So I'll get back to this grind But this love is not a crime, you could have stopped me at anytime I guess we'll just try in better time But for now take a break, til the day we can work it out Good grief sister, I know I'll get by There's just a lot on my mind, since I came down with this tire All my brothers are far down this line, I'm always one step behind So I'll get back to this grind
5.
Heaven's Lot Are Miserable 03:54
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I decide what you provide for me As I choose these words, these prayers aren't for free Hand-me-downs in the back of this van that I drive to church each Sunday Take my time as I watch and beware Wishful thinking brought me nowhere The heaven's lot are miserable, the heaven's lot are miserable Watch and learn as the righteous will prevail Take the road that leads down the broken path Take the burdens of others upon your back Dance alone as the sinners around live a life for lonesome tailors Live to die in your garments of white, it's the poorest use of valor The heaven's lot are miserable, the heaven's lot are miserable Watch and learn as the righteous will prevail Jesus didn't pay to see me fail I'm taking up the cross, I'm sewing up the veil If the sinners could read, then I think they'd agree That you go to church on Sunday But it's apparent to see, that with the lives they all lead They'll never see the Father my way The heaven's lot are miserable, the heaven's lot are miserable Watch and learn as the righteous will prevail
6.
Father and the Father 04:20
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When you open your mouth to sing, and you start to sway side to side And you close your eyes, yeah you close your eyes When I hear your little laugh ring, sends a shiver 'round your body And I know you're free, yeah I know you're free Well it's already been a long night, and you can't sleep When your cry rises up to me Put your head on my chest, let your heart find rest And I'll try not to forget, yeah I'll try not to forget Well each day you pay a price, to hold my hand each night And no one sees you struggle there, your cries aren't born upon the air But there's something only I can do, I can see inside you And I love you, never as much as I want to When my sin tries to hide me, I just wait for God to find me When the world's trying to hide me, I just wait for Him to find me When the devil's trying to find me, I just wait for God to hide me In the city streets, or forest trees, my savior says to me When you open your mouth to sing, and you start to sway side to side Just close your eyes, yeah just close your eyes When I hear your little laugh ring, sends a shiver round your body And I know you're free, yeah I know you're free Well it's already been a long night, and you can't sleep When your cry rises up to me Put your head on my chest, let your heart find rest And you know I won't forget, yeah you know I won't forget Well each day you pay a price, to fold your hands each night And no one sees you struggle there, your cries aren't born upon the air But there's something only I can do, I can see inside you And I love you, just like I want to
7.
Softwood Sleep 06:04
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It's a pain, everyday's the same, when life is on sustain Loss, makes you go insane, takes its stake in change Like what you had was built to fade I turn far, from sentiment, I know not, the intimate Thoughts, twist up in my brain, like lightening tastes the rain Sear, what's left of all I know, relearning all that's tossed Like a ship in a storm Fight fear's fool, to win again Inside this house, where the dark descends Thoughts and dreams come easily But don't raise hopes on the willow leaves The living have picnics in the cemeteries While the dead lay deep in the softwood sleep My friend, you left behind your ghost I don't know where you've gone, but I'd like to know I've found, new life under my skin From death and back again, but I still hurt inside Tied up tongue and choked up throat I love what left now I'd like to let go But the pain subsidizes and the tears go dry Forgetting what I was in that winter time Come back later for a picnic here while the dead... Come back later for a picnic here While what's dead lay deep in the softwood sleep
8.
What I Seek 05:18
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Do you like my weekend, do you like my style Maybe we can pretend, I didn't say what I said last night And it feels kerosene is added to my one desire I'll take my fantasies and sing them with this black guitar Do you fight my pretense, do you fight my kind I just want to be friends, til you can visualize my peace of mind I know you work the franchise, you give the natural things an old refine I'd work to build a mansion that you can live in til the day you die And I'm banging on your door, and I'm banging from this prison And I'm living on your floor, of unintentional derision The test has always before, before undo-able collision And I pray it's justified, to lose it all before I find What I seek is what is mine How did I get lost this time It was all status quo til I saw what kind of music that you liked Either way from here leads down I've got all badly timed passionate will to design Do you like my control, do you like my wires Do you like my vengeance and my little jealous fits of fire I'd give the grave my heartache, I've got enough to last this side of life Your "get-to-heart's" the hardest I'm just like every common man combined And I'm banging on your door, and I'm banging from this prison And I'm living on your floor, of unintentional derision The test has always before, before undo-able collision And I pray it's justified, to lose it all before I find What I seek is what is mine All I can do, is hold hope up to the truth And pray to God I won't refuse, the rugged path that leads to you All that I know, is it comes from down below What the rust has overthrown, where the fear has overgrown And I'm banging on your door, and I'm banging from this prison And I'm living on your floor, of unintentional derision The test has always before, before undo-able collision And I pray it's justified, to lose it all before I find What I seek is what is mine
9.
Coming Out of It 03:13
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Give me one look in the yearbook of 2014 A knife in my stomach never do it again I showed trust in my friends but I leaned into a mean Right hook by my best man, I fell to the ground I took it like a child how, I thought I was a man I'm looking for redemption now, I think it's time to change again It's my role, it's my path, I let you down, so I don't sag A cruel past, but a future that I want I keep looking at myself up in the mirror thinking That I've changed between the failure and the fear God's have got me angling like a menace to demand That my perfection has some value everywhere I'm feeling like a fool how, I thought I was a helping hand I've got to be a loser now, but my time will come to win again It's my badge, it's my bath, I'm feeling down, and I don't laugh I'm cleaning up so I can take a better stand I've fallen down, so I've given up, my God is all that I'll ever want Do you understand that I'm a loner cause I can be Proving to the world, that I'm bigger than myself Falter by some anger that I'm always in need of help I've idolized some paradise, when it's all touch and go I fight the parasite, I find the careless right But whoa, whoa is you, that you found it to
10.
Letdown and Redemption 03:55
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Christening the ship that casts a long dark shadow Like kissing lips that passed me like my nightmares tend to Wistfulness is gentle while the sunlight mends me My brokenness is learning not to fear the thing that bends me Shine, all that I am made of was meant to arise Longing for the day that I'll be fine, with this design Cause you were kind, on the day that you found me Happiness is mental like the pen and I have been together Chancing on the page that I might find something I'd like to know Laying on the pavement with my bestest friend and sober kisser Beginning to undress our lonely hearts under a starry sky Shine, all that I am made of was meant to arise Longing for the day that I'll be fine, with this design Cause you were kind, on the day that you found me Wishing that I was the fool who lost himself and found the world Before I found that anything I gain demands a sacrifice So I drink the cup of bitter water washing down my slow demise But love came down and changed my spiteful drink into rejoicing wine Shine, all that I am made of was meant to arise Longing for the day that I'll be fine, with this design Cause you were kind, on the day that you found me

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This is the first compilation of songs I recorded from the fall of 2014 to the late summer of 2015.

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released October 1, 2015

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Zachary Parker Stevens Remsen, New York

I live in Remsen, Ny. I've been playing music my whole life, and I've been writing music and recording for the past 5 years.

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