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2. |
Not A Rockstar
03:56
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In Pelton's English class we learned
While reading Malcolm Gladwell's book, titled Outliers
My life is ruined by my birth
But I take a college class where they tell me it's all good
I'm the youngest child of 18 years
I've watched my older siblings marry have their children
But it's not my standard
I never do things out of fear
I may have learned to be a failure but I know it's no career
Hey now, I'm not a rock star
I don't see anything resembling what I dream and do it for
Hey now, I'm not a nuance
I may be similar to human but I don't intend to do it anymore
In the North Country Christian Church
My father leads the age old hymns for the congregation
I know it's stagnant in the stream
But despite the facts they show I feel his presence all the same
I'm here to save and love the lost
And if I don't evangelize to the masses I'm a normal Christian
I know we all have lost our way
So it's safe to realize that we need Jesus everyday
Hey now, I'm not a rock star
I don't see anything resembling what I dream and do it for
Hey now, I'm not a nuance
I may be similar to human but I don't intend to do it anymore
Hey, so wait am I living some lie
Walking down streets in the average style
Praying to change how I think in my mind
While I try to figure out what is really worth while
Find my tire in the televised guile
Crowned a foolish slave that is bound to this dial
Wake in shame all of yesterday's trials
I've gone to serve the justice to the prideful and the wild
Hey now, I'm not a rock star
I don't see anything resembling what I dream and do it for
Hey now, I'm not a nuance
I may be similar to human but I don't intend to do it anymore
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3. |
Buying Into Grace
04:49
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Undo the mistakes, undo the flaws
The life was the kisses, I can't buy this system anymore
Mimic an interest, smile with a heart
I've come a to a dead end, where is all this hype I had before?
I can't sell out to you, and it hurts like hell
This won't work out that I am sure of, or at least I'm sure now
Times when it pinches, times when I claw
Trapped in this mission, it's never been so helpless or so hard
Times when it makes sense, I know that I'm called
So why in this instance, I feel like I've been left out in the cold
I can't sell out to you, and it hurts like hell
This won't work out that I am sure of, or at least I'm sure now
I've got nothing to lean on for the first time, in a long while
Time comes alone, and reminds me
Of who I used to be, when I was on my own
Miles marked in stone, you can find me
Desperate like the rest, even though I should have known
I cry like it's over, I cry like it's through
The sun brings the morning, and it's never been, been so overdue
I can't sell out to you, and it hurts like hell
This won't work out that I am sure of, or at least I'm sure now
I want you, I need you, come be my friend
Yes I want to be near you, so come meet me again
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4. |
One Step Behind
04:38
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I don't got the time, but I don't got a reason
Guess I'll douse the flame, cause I guess it's not our season
I know I can't complain, I knew it was uneven
This walk is like the rain, my feelings like a fever
Good grief sister, I know I'll get by
There's just a lot on my mind, since I came down with this tire
All my brothers are far down this line, I'm always one step behind
So I'll get back to this grind
I'm not deaf or blind, I know that it's no secret
That love is bound to fly, when you try to keep it
I must be stuck in the rhythm of the past
In the past there's a little bit of love that I never got back
Like the cold hard cul-de-sac cash
Dropping twenties in between the metal gap
Good grief sister, I know I'll get by
There's just a lot on my mind, since I came down with this tire
All my brothers are far down this line, I'm always one step behind
So I'll get back to this grind
But this love is not a crime, you could have stopped me at anytime
I guess we'll just try in better time
But for now take a break, til the day we can work it out
Good grief sister, I know I'll get by
There's just a lot on my mind, since I came down with this tire
All my brothers are far down this line, I'm always one step behind
So I'll get back to this grind
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5. |
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I decide what you provide for me
As I choose these words, these prayers aren't for free
Hand-me-downs in the back of this van that I drive to church each Sunday
Take my time as I watch and beware
Wishful thinking brought me nowhere
The heaven's lot are miserable, the heaven's lot are miserable
Watch and learn as the righteous will prevail
Take the road that leads down the broken path
Take the burdens of others upon your back
Dance alone as the sinners around live a life for lonesome tailors
Live to die in your garments of white, it's the poorest use of valor
The heaven's lot are miserable, the heaven's lot are miserable
Watch and learn as the righteous will prevail
Jesus didn't pay to see me fail
I'm taking up the cross, I'm sewing up the veil
If the sinners could read, then I think they'd agree
That you go to church on Sunday
But it's apparent to see, that with the lives they all lead
They'll never see the Father my way
The heaven's lot are miserable, the heaven's lot are miserable
Watch and learn as the righteous will prevail
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6. |
Father and the Father
04:20
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When you open your mouth to sing, and you start to sway side to side
And you close your eyes, yeah you close your eyes
When I hear your little laugh ring, sends a shiver 'round your body
And I know you're free, yeah I know you're free
Well it's already been a long night, and you can't sleep
When your cry rises up to me
Put your head on my chest, let your heart find rest
And I'll try not to forget, yeah I'll try not to forget
Well each day you pay a price, to hold my hand each night
And no one sees you struggle there, your cries aren't born upon the air
But there's something only I can do, I can see inside you
And I love you, never as much as I want to
When my sin tries to hide me, I just wait for God to find me
When the world's trying to hide me, I just wait for Him to find me
When the devil's trying to find me, I just wait for God to hide me
In the city streets, or forest trees, my savior says to me
When you open your mouth to sing, and you start to sway side to side
Just close your eyes, yeah just close your eyes
When I hear your little laugh ring, sends a shiver round your body
And I know you're free, yeah I know you're free
Well it's already been a long night, and you can't sleep
When your cry rises up to me
Put your head on my chest, let your heart find rest
And you know I won't forget, yeah you know I won't forget
Well each day you pay a price, to fold your hands each night
And no one sees you struggle there, your cries aren't born upon the air
But there's something only I can do, I can see inside you
And I love you, just like I want to
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7. |
Softwood Sleep
06:04
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It's a pain, everyday's the same, when life is on sustain
Loss, makes you go insane, takes its stake in change
Like what you had was built to fade
I turn far, from sentiment, I know not, the intimate
Thoughts, twist up in my brain, like lightening tastes the rain
Sear, what's left of all I know, relearning all that's tossed
Like a ship in a storm
Fight fear's fool, to win again
Inside this house, where the dark descends
Thoughts and dreams come easily
But don't raise hopes on the willow leaves
The living have picnics in the cemeteries
While the dead lay deep in the softwood sleep
My friend, you left behind your ghost
I don't know where you've gone, but I'd like to know
I've found, new life under my skin
From death and back again, but I still hurt inside
Tied up tongue and choked up throat
I love what left now I'd like to let go
But the pain subsidizes and the tears go dry
Forgetting what I was in that winter time
Come back later for a picnic here while the dead...
Come back later for a picnic here
While what's dead lay deep in the softwood sleep
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8. |
What I Seek
05:18
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Do you like my weekend, do you like my style
Maybe we can pretend, I didn't say what I said last night
And it feels kerosene is added to my one desire
I'll take my fantasies and sing them with this black guitar
Do you fight my pretense, do you fight my kind
I just want to be friends, til you can visualize my peace of mind
I know you work the franchise, you give the natural things an old refine
I'd work to build a mansion that you can live in til the day you die
And I'm banging on your door, and I'm banging from this prison
And I'm living on your floor, of unintentional derision
The test has always before, before undo-able collision
And I pray it's justified, to lose it all before I find
What I seek is what is mine
How did I get lost this time
It was all status quo til I saw what kind of music that you liked
Either way from here leads down
I've got all badly timed passionate will to design
Do you like my control, do you like my wires
Do you like my vengeance and my little jealous fits of fire
I'd give the grave my heartache, I've got enough to last this side of life
Your "get-to-heart's" the hardest
I'm just like every common man combined
And I'm banging on your door, and I'm banging from this prison
And I'm living on your floor, of unintentional derision
The test has always before, before undo-able collision
And I pray it's justified, to lose it all before I find
What I seek is what is mine
All I can do, is hold hope up to the truth
And pray to God I won't refuse, the rugged path that leads to you
All that I know, is it comes from down below
What the rust has overthrown, where the fear has overgrown
And I'm banging on your door, and I'm banging from this prison
And I'm living on your floor, of unintentional derision
The test has always before, before undo-able collision
And I pray it's justified, to lose it all before I find
What I seek is what is mine
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9. |
Coming Out of It
03:13
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Give me one look in the yearbook of 2014
A knife in my stomach never do it again
I showed trust in my friends but I leaned into a mean
Right hook by my best man, I fell to the ground
I took it like a child how, I thought I was a man
I'm looking for redemption now, I think it's time to change again
It's my role, it's my path, I let you down, so I don't sag
A cruel past, but a future that I want
I keep looking at myself up in the mirror thinking
That I've changed between the failure and the fear
God's have got me angling like a menace to demand
That my perfection has some value everywhere
I'm feeling like a fool how, I thought I was a helping hand
I've got to be a loser now, but my time will come to win again
It's my badge, it's my bath, I'm feeling down, and I don't laugh
I'm cleaning up so I can take a better stand
I've fallen down, so I've given up, my God is all that I'll ever want
Do you understand that I'm a loner cause I can be
Proving to the world, that I'm bigger than myself
Falter by some anger that I'm always in need of help
I've idolized some paradise, when it's all touch and go
I fight the parasite, I find the careless right
But whoa, whoa is you, that you found it to
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10. |
Letdown and Redemption
03:55
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Christening the ship that casts a long dark shadow
Like kissing lips that passed me like my nightmares tend to
Wistfulness is gentle while the sunlight mends me
My brokenness is learning not to fear the thing that bends me
Shine, all that I am made of was meant to arise
Longing for the day that I'll be fine, with this design
Cause you were kind, on the day that you found me
Happiness is mental like the pen and I have been together
Chancing on the page that I might find something I'd like to know
Laying on the pavement with my bestest friend and sober kisser
Beginning to undress our lonely hearts under a starry sky
Shine, all that I am made of was meant to arise
Longing for the day that I'll be fine, with this design
Cause you were kind, on the day that you found me
Wishing that I was the fool who lost himself and found the world
Before I found that anything I gain demands a sacrifice
So I drink the cup of bitter water washing down my slow demise
But love came down and changed my spiteful drink into rejoicing wine
Shine, all that I am made of was meant to arise
Longing for the day that I'll be fine, with this design
Cause you were kind, on the day that you found me
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Zachary Parker Stevens Remsen, New York
I live in Remsen, Ny. I've been playing music my whole life, and I've been writing music and recording for the past 5 years.
Contact Zachary Parker Stevens
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